well, it’s the English asparagus season, of course. nicest I think when roasted with olive oil and flakes of sea salt.
in other news I am still adapting to the recent technological constraints on my sober blogging. I am now getting used to using the family computer rather than my laptop, which has been quite a change for me. my laptop is (obviously!) location independent and as private as I wish it to be, whereas the family computer is in a highly visible spot and I can only really be reliably alone with it before the rest of the family get up. also I am getting used to its settings which as a techno-idiot is challenging. I have discovered private browsing and am hoping perhaps unrealistically that my children have not discovered it too 😉
it is as if I were a keen runner and suddenly found not just that I could only exercise at one particular time of day, but also I had to use an stationary exercise bike that was totally unfamiliar to me. I found the restraint highly irksome at first, preferring rather to use my phone to visit sober blogs. but then I found that I couldn’t comment as I’d wish to, as I couldn’t mentally compose comments when I couldn’t see on the screen what the post had said and what I’d said… bah…. so I mentally bookmarked those posts to comment later so I felt I had a back-log of comments I wanted to leave, and I missed the connection with others.
also bizarrely at the same time I discovered that the silver ring I bought myself to mark my two years sobriety, which I’d got into the habit of not taking off, had been digging into my finger and had left a ridge under the skin which was becoming painful. so I realised I would have to leave the ring off, till the ridge healed itself, and perhaps not wear it again, which made me sad. I could have it re-sized but it is engraved inside so I don’t know whether that’s possible.
and because I have been wearing it as a sobriety token for the last 7 months it made me feel unexpectedly wobbly not to have it on my hand. not ‘I’m going to drink now’ sort of wobbly, but ‘oh, where’s my recovery talisman gone?’
I have to catch myself at these sort of times in not seeing all this as A Sign that I should, literally, be wearing my recovery more loosely – that I need to be on guard in case my recovery becomes constrictive of my new sober life. watching Amy Schumer’s video on The Universe (which I think I’ve put on here before but I love so will link to again) is helpful when I succumb to these tendencies 😉
listening to one of Belle’s One Minute Messages the other day I heard something helpful in this regard. she said:
the reason to keep in touch with my recovery supports is that my new life is built upon my sobriety.
I am catching up with comments here and elsewhere so hopefully I will get used to the new arrangements. making my recovery check-in more deliberate is possibly a good thing.
so, that’s what I’ve been up to. wobbling and eating asparagus. how about you?