it’s official – it’s the craziest time of the year. looking back on my posts in my previous two sober Decembers the social anxiety jumps off the screen. yesterday nearly everything that could have gone wrong by 8.35am had done so, and the day was just beginning. when the wheels start falling off my life it is a sure and certain sign that I need to slow the hell down and make sure that the basics are in place.

Lisa Byrne has a great metaphor for this. she says that our day to day lives are like a post and rail fence. the more and heavier rails we expect a fence to carry, the more frequent and larger we need our posts to be. but what do we do at times of high expectations and stress? we uproot our supports and hurl them away like a maniacal Scotsman tossing the caber.

“Meditation? that’s for Sassenachs!”

I’ve found the daily series of blog posts on alcohol-free drinks to be really helpful in this regard. having some external accountability to ensure that I do ONE NICE THING for myself each day has been immensely motivating, so thank you for reading and commenting on them!

the title of this post is taken from Mark Manson’s awesome article, The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck. which should be required reading at any time of year for any person over the age of ooh, let’s say 16 😉 but particularly for anyone not drinking in December. because why do we bother unless it makes our lives better? unless it means WE get to choose what to care about, WE get to choose how to spend our time, and WE get to live every damn minute we get as WE choose?

news of a ‘real life’ friend’s alcohol-related troubles reaching me recently has shaken and unsettled me. re-focused my mind on why I never want to go back there. it’s a shitty, dark place and life in the sunshine is too precious, too valuable to ever risk.

had lunch yesterday with a dear old friend. one with whom I’ve talked in the past about not drinking, but as time passes it’s interesting to me that I talk with less shame and more self-acceptance about the fact that I was drinking too much and it was making me sad. I hope that we are closer now as she has a truer understanding of where I’ve been, and what it’s like for me now.

can I leave you with a quote from Maya Angelou? she said:

‘We spend precious hours fearing the inevitable. It would be wise to use that time adoring our families, cherishing our friends, and living our lives.’ 

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