An aeroplane flies into black stormclouds over Sydney. (Reuters: David Gray)

I love this image – at first all you see are the looming storm clouds, and then you spot the teeny, courageous little red speck of an aeroplane heading right into the centre of the cloud. and are those engine fumes looking as they should? will the plane make it?

a bit bleurgh here. a couple of back-to-back (or should that be hack-to-hack?) chest colds keeping me out of my trainers, and have ganged up with the usual hormonal swings and roundabouts to keep me on the grumpy side of the street. my nightly gratitude journals have been begrudging at best. well, that’s when I most need them, I tell myself grimly, and get the fuck on with it, as Pollyanna always said.

over the weekend the off-line principles went out of the window and I am feeling the worst for it today, finding that I have to bat away the urge to check in far more frequently. sigh. the whole thing feels so much like the desperation of my last moderation attempts. trying to find an offline/online balance feels like the eating thing. completely stopping a behaviour is in many ways easier than moderating. we can’t step entirely away from eating – and seemingly nowadays we (I?) can’t do the same online.

stepping back a bit I can perhaps be thankful that colds will pass eventually, the grey skies will lift one day and that my biggest problem is no longer drinking. just writing that last bit really helps, actually! and I have been cheering myself up by devising a series of jolly posts for December. watch this space! Pilot Prim xx

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