I don’t mean this here blog, of course. someone else’s! and it probably says quite a scary lot about me that chocolate fudge cake is the first thing to come to mind as something that almost overwhelmingly makes me want to consume it as rapidly as possible in its entirety…
nonetheless that is the best simile I can think of for Hip Sobriety, the website of Holly Glenn Whittaker.
Holly is a reformed accountant, who in the last couple of years has also kicked her addictions to alcohol, pot, cigarettes, caffeine and food, and become a meditation and yoga instructor, twice over. she writes with colossal passion and energy about how much better life is without alcohol. and how we can all get there too.
I have been devouring her blog and it’s hard to pick out anything in particular, but here are a few highlights:
11 fears you have about sobriety, dispelled: eg number seven, which actually made me cry at the truth and joy of it:
‘I’ll lose my friends. You will not lose your friends. You will never lose your real friends. You will, however, most definitely lose people that were in your life because of alcohol. They’ll go first and you won’t notice. And some of your real friends might need to take a vacation from you until they get comfortable. You’ll notice those and it will probably hurt a bit (your confidence and decision will freak people out – you’re a flashlight and some people would rather be left in the dark). A lot of people transitioned out of my life. But a lot of badass people that were on the fringes that I hadn’t explored came closer. Others who I had lost long ago came back. And then more and more like minded ones flooded in. New, beautiful friendships blossomed. My posse today is huge and wide and they are the real deal. Drinkers, non-drinkers, whatevers. They are fantastic and I’m the luckiest when it comes to community and an ever evolving circle of friends. Alcohol doesn’t make friendships, it makes commonalities. You make friendships.’
this one: Hi, my name is Holly, and I’m not an alcoholic*. *because there’s no such thing. a really interesting post, which as she mentions draws on the Allen Carr and Jason Vale approach to alcohol dependence, ie that it is caused by the drug itself. it makes me more likely in future to describe myself as a non-drinker rather than an alcoholic – which even if I only ever use it inside my own head, is valuable, I believe. these lines in particular really struck home with me – maybe with you, too?
‘If we use/abuse/are addicted to cocaine and kick the addiction or use, we stop, and that is that. The same goes for every single other drug on the market. It even goes for cigarettes. But not alcohol. Because we believe everyone “should” be able to drink and those who can’t as somehow defective, we assign them a label and a lifetime disease. Alcoholism.’
it’s that ‘everyone SHOULD be able to drink’ which gives alcohol such invincible power over our society. over our friends, our families, our children’s futures.
well, it’s just not damn true, is it?
and lastly, this post: my deepest secret. you’ll have to click on the link to find out what that one is 😉
well, in case you haven’t noticed: Holly, I’m a fan! sending you enormous thanks for your writing and your service. one last quote:
‘It’s not scary. I know it feels scary and like death. I know it feels like the end and the worst case scenario. I promise you it is not. I promise you that it is only the death of the things that are no longer serving you. And that it is the beginning of so much more. It is the beginning of YOU.’