I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person who has a cast of alternative identities I keep in my back pocket to pull out in case of emergency. in trying to avoid anticipatory anxiety about my first full-throttle New Years Eve house party I have settled on Gregory Peck’s portrayal of the character in To Kill a Mockingbird.

what I’m looking to channel is his quiet, confident strength, and his overwhelming self-possession. his ability to shrug off even being spat at in the face, and walk away, untroubled. in perhaps my favourite line, he says:

“The one thing that doesn’t abide by majority rule is a person’s conscience.”

I hope I am not being disrespectful to racial discrimination when I say that the prejudice in that film is highly reminiscent of the casual normalisation of harmful drinking behaviour that often takes place in others’ homes, in front of my children. I hope I will be the quiet voice helping them see that there is another, better way of doing things. not sure I can pull off the three-piece suit, though 😉

I have no pangs about drinking, which is such a relief. as before Christmas, my anxiety is wholly around dealing with others’ behaviour and comments. so I am prepared to retreat, like Atticus, if required, but stand my ground if necessary too. and will keep the ability to shoot down a rabid dog with a single bullet as well 🙂

hope you have plans for some sober fun, this New Year! Prim xx

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