now

then:

if there were an actual bat signal for moms, it would be a giant wineglass projected into the sky. code word for ‘come and save me from this house.’ย 

sitting at ballet class recently with toddlers tumbling everywhere, one mum saying to the next, “I’ve got two extra children for supper tonight, never mind, I get one glass of wine per child!” and the responding, reassuring laughter….did I use to joke like that in front of my children? quite possibly. in the early days, when I was still pretending desperately that everything was okay, that this was normal. before I knew for a certainty that I had left ‘normal’ behind and my drinking became the elephant in the room, never to be referred to. too serious to try to laugh away, any more.

out at Christmassy event last night. a family-targeted occasion, with hot ginger wine, mulled cider and hot Bloody Marys available in abundance. to be fair mulled apple juice too – and it was delicious. much easier to stick to the latter than at the same event last year when I was tiptoeing through a new and unfamiliar sober landscape.

coming home, planned rewards of no-jito and chocolate truffles. raising a minty glass to a WordPress buddy across the sea.

new times, new signal. and it’s not necessarily even a distress signal.

more a case of holding out a light, in solidarity. let’s let our little lights shine, yes?! xx

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