I came across this fantastic post – the difference between “so what” and “fuck it” from Life Unbuzzed, who doesn’t post as often as she could for my liking 😉 she is over three years sober and her perspective is always an inspiration.
For me, “so what” is a positive tool to use in sobriety to reset my perspective. It’s different from “fuck it”, and I’ll try to explain why.
“Fuck it” was a common mental prelude to drinking when I was trying to quit. It was marked by resentment. Example: “I’m tired of being the only one in this house to take the garbage out. Fuck it, I’ll just do it and have a drink.”
Compare that to the “so what” response: “I see that the garbage is still there even though I asked Billy to take it out. So what? It’s not worth drinking over.”
While both expressions can signal an attitude of I DON’T CARE, “fuck it” means I don’t care enough about myself to deal with a situation in a healthy way. “So what” means I don’t care enough about the situation to allow it to threaten my serenity.
‘I don’t care enough about the situation to allow it to threaten my serenity.’
that is so powerful. thank you, Unbuzzed! I love that you made ‘so what’ jewellery, too 🙂 and I particularly like the way that ‘so what’ makes us firm and resolute, whereas ‘fuck it’ cuts the ground out from under our feet….
her post came to my mind yesterday when I was in a whirlwind of week-end morning activity, dashing here and there, food shopping and collecting one of my son’s friends who was coming to play for the day. this lad is a great buddy of my son and spends quite a lot of time here.
as we pulled into our drive, he said, with combined contentment and anticipation,
“I love your house.”
I was immensely moved. it is all too easy for me to think of my house as a conglomeration of un-done tasks. the fridge that needs a clear out, the paintwork that needs re-doing…list after list after list. but this boy sees it as a welcoming place where his friend lives, where they knock about together and wrestle and annoy the dog, get muddy and consume vast quantities of food.
so everything else can be filed under ‘so what?’
tell me, what could you re-file under ‘so what?’ today?