having spent ten plus months talking to imaginary friends online, today was the first time that I met some of them in real life.
and it was bloody marvellous. it felt pretty damn subversive, too. meeting, in public? without pinning big yellow A for alcoholics to ourselves? is this allowed?
and guess what? we were all intelligent, sparky, courageous women who just happened to have had a close encounter of an addictive kind and are learning to turn the tables on it. not a two-headed alien was present.
I did want to pinch all their cheeks at frequent intervals to reassure myself that they were, in fact, flesh and blood, but managed to refrain. I was pleased that I did not cry as much as I had thought I would. not that I was not emotional, but that the overwhelming emotion was delight and hilarity. my face actually physically aches from smiling so much today.
having an overwhelming sense of commonality of experience.
finding a new willingness, for me, to re-examine my decision not to attend AA. in the next town, maybe? because talking to another sober person or group of sober people in real life is just… indescribable. unless you have been doing getting sober on your own you have no idea how hard that process is. and maybe it doesn’t have to be so hard? maybe trying one AA meeting wouldn’t kill me? or you? maybe trying it might be the best decision we ever made?
am now home and my face is still doing it. the sort of unstoppable secret smile that Mr P would be quite justified in worrying arises from an altogether less licit encounter. one involving, at the very least, a suite at the Ritz, Benedict Cumberbatch OR Richard Armitage*, and a jar of Nutella.
nope. just smiling because I’m happy.
who knew? I’m happier sober. just like my friends.
*because I’m not greedy. both would be greedy.