How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.’

I first heard this expression when I was at university, as an admonition to keep plugging away at a seemingly insurmountable task. it never clicked with Mrs All Or Nothing, here, as you would expect.ย and so twenty five plus years later (whaaaaa?!) I am re-writing it.

I am feeding the elephant.

I am dealing with my paperwork, not as a mountain to be chipped away, but as a way of building a new support for me and my life. of getting systems in place that will enable life to run more smoothly and on course. so that appointments are not missed, obligations are fulfilled, and my family is better taken care of. the well-fed elephant will carry enormous loads for us if I nurture him, treat him kindly and meet his needs.

three weeks into the UFYD challenge and I am starting to get to grips with it. it has been really hard. not quite as hard as stopping drinking, but very nearly quite. because what I am doing is similarly not intended to be a quick fix, but a long-lasting attitude change.

it is easier than stopping drinking because it is something I do intermittently, rather than something I refrain from doing constantly. so when it is done, it is done, and I can tick off that mental box and move on.

it is difficult because it brings me up slap bang against my previous deficiencies. I wrote a post about March about my neglected greenhouse, which addressed many of the same ย issues, about feelings of guilt and discomfort arising from past neglects.

sometimes I have thought about the step in AA about making amends. as readers to this blog will know I have not taken the AA path but you can’t be a sober blogger for ten months without meeting a lot of amazing people who have, and picking up some of the lingo ๐Ÿ˜‰

and in thinking about amends, I have thought about the people closest to me, and how I can make amends for the time I spent drinking. and mostly, as FFF advised me recently, I decide that I make amends by being the best wife and mummy for them I can be, now, today. and that is what I would want if I were in their shoes, not tear-stained confessions about gin bottles stashed in cupboards.

so perhaps this paperwork challenge can be a part of that, too? a way I can contribute to the well-being of our family which I had previously shirked? and by doing it I put legs on my intentions. and you know me – all about the doing things ๐Ÿ˜‰

here’s a Monday morning quote for you from Jack Welch, whatever you want to achieve:

โ€œIn real life, strategy is actually very straightforward. You pick a general direction and you implement like hell.โ€

my ‘general direction’ started off being ‘not killing myself with booze every night’. it is getting bigger than just that, now. to become a happier, healthier, more valuable to myself and others me, I hope. and feeding the elephant is going to be a big part of how I implement that.

statistics, now, for accountability: 7 more UFYD hours last week. 24 hours so far in total.

and 50 days to go to one year ๐Ÿ™‚