I wrote a long rambling post just now about whether or not I should take wine during the Eucharist at my church, and WP has lost it! bah. probably for the best. I am as besieged by doubts about the whole caboodle anyway as Adam Smallbone (admirably played by Tom Hollander in the BBC series, Rev.)

so, to summarise: haven’t taken Communion since last November as couldn’t reconcile myself to taking a sip of wine. have been feeling sad about this and excluded from what for me is a source of spiritual support. as well as incredibly angry (with society, and God, and, well, everybody really) that even in what is supposed to be a place of sanctuary, the tendrils of bloody bloody booze can still reach me.

in the end decided to take it at the Easter service and was relieved to find that (a) my head did not revolve three times and (b) the wine itself tasted thin, nasty and faintly of silver polish. yuk. and (c) taking one sip did NOT make me want to rush to the nearest corner shop and demand wine with menaces. which was a vast relief.

and then took it again this Sunday, without the massive trepidation associated with my previous experience. and it was fine. and I am going to continue to do so. and can I just say that it is my firm opinion that taking communion DOES NOT QUALIFY AS A SLIP. and if you think otherwise please feel free to keep your opinion to yourself. (unless of course I start pinching entire bottles from the vestry and drinking it in the bell chamber. in which case you may have a point. πŸ˜‰ ) sorry, don’t mean to sound bolshy! my previous post was much better written!

I am trying to reconcile different parts of my belief system and that is proving quite challenging to me, as they are changing all the time. I am trying to learn and grow and hang on to the good bits of my pre-existing beliefs. sorry for rant. thanks for listening!

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