…excuse me. hem. there are some words here, too. are you with me yet? thank you 😉
My residual Wolfie popped in on Sunday morning, as is his wont, to whisper in my ear that maybe I could have a glass of sherry, or glass of wine, on Sunday lunchtimes? only when we have guests, of course. to be sociable.
Sod off, Wolfie. As I said in an email to Belle, how long would it take before it was also ‘only’ Saturday night? then Friday night? then Wednesday night when I’d had a hard day? then every night of the week, here we go again?
no thanks Mr Wolf. The Sunday lunch urge is fading but it is still there. I would rate it at about 30%, now. I would call it a twinge more than an urge. not falling for that nonsense any more. am parking it and leaving it well alone.
any how was mulling this over, as you do, when driving someplace and a blinding flash of inspiration came to me when traversing a roundabout.
I was berating myself as follows, “Why am I bad at moderation? Why couldn’t I do that? Not just yesterday, but for the last, ooh, thirty years? Why am I bad at it?”
Then it came to me. I am bad at moderation. But I am good at extremes.
Woah. Think I’m onto something here. Being good at extremes serves me when the extreme is sobriety. Because (don’t hate me don’t hate me don’t hate me) not drinking is not that difficult for me these days. Inconvenient, yes. But the carpet-biting, lock-me-up-so-I-don’t-hurt-myself stage has passed, and I am doing this.
I would be rubbish at moderation. I am going to stick at what I’m good at.
Edited to add: after re-reading this I am slightly panicked that I might be implying that my sobriety is ‘better’ than your sobriety. oh no it’s not. no way jose. sober = not drinking = that’s all there is. no grades, no levels, no rankings available. my sobriety may be based on different reasons. it may be older than your sobriety. middle aged sobriety. but better? nope. hope that’s cleared that up 🙂