We went out last night to a charity fundraiser. We were on a table with a great mix of people most of whom I knew quite well, but whom I don’t see often.

It wasn’t a terribly booze centred event. Most people on the table had one drink before the meal and another with it. I had tonic and ice (ordered at the bar so not distinguishable from a G & T) at the start and then just stuck to water.

I was relieved that no-one commented on what I was drinking. Only one of the women there knew specifically that I’m not drinking now. The majority of my relief was because one of the other women there is very much focused on drinking. She started the evening ‘reminiscing’ about what a huge hangover she’d had the next day after the last time this particular group had all been together in the summer. Telling in huge detail about what she’d had to do at work the following day and how ghastly she’d felt. All this in that jokey, look at me, aren’t I the one? way. aargh. so not funny, or big, or clever. We’re not 18 anymore. I just kept quiet and grinned inanely along with the rest. Thankfully she didn’t twig that I wasn’t drinking as she has been known to harangue other people in that position.

I try not to be ‘booze monitor’ on these occasions as it doesn’t help me to count up other people’s units. It really doesn’t. What I did notice was with what relief this particular friend greeted the arrival of a glass of wine. As if that was the point of being out. Not to talk to other people, or to look gorgeous (which she did), or to spend time with your other half, or to raise money for a good cause. Nope. Just feed the beast. So sad – and so familiar from my own not so long ago past.

I did have a great time but was ready to leave quite early, which we did.

I have learnt from prior experience that if I go to a boozy event I need a treat planned for afterwards. So last night I came home and knocked off a few items from my Amazon wish list. I love the wish list as you can separate the, ooh, I’d like that, from the yes, I’m getting that!

I’ve ordered Drink: The Intimate Relationship Between Women and Alcohol and Drinking to Distraction. (The latter was a recommendation on ByeByeBeer’s blog I think.) I have only read a couple of sobriety books previously and I hope these will be good ones to add to my armoury.

Day 112 today. Rainy grey Sunday. Sunny thoughts in my head, though 🙂

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