It’s been a muddy path, with lots of unexpected twists and turns. More up ahead, unseen over the brow of that hill, I have no doubt. Not what I thought it would be like when I started. But hey, let’s face it, I had not the slightest idea what it would be like when I started. Thank ye gods and little fishes. I just felt desperate enough to try something that I didn’t believe could work, as nothing else had. Except Belle’s Team 100 did work, for me, and is working for so many other people it actually makes me want to cry when I think about it.
It’s not all sunrises and pink clouds. But there are enough of those to make me lift my eyes from the mud and thank my lucky stars that hope is my drug of choice now.
I will resist the temptation to thank my entire blogroll.
I did expect to be feeling a tad more Oscary today (is that an adjective? hell, it’s my day 100. I can invent all the words I like.) I think I had that a bit more on the day I hit three months. That was a BIG day for me. I think that’s how my mindset is going now, more towards months than days. I am still going to continue counting days. I need landmarks in the bright new sober future to aim towards and mark.
So I signed up for Belle’s Team 180 a few days ago. I had a long coach journey the preceding day and came up with the following paragraphs which I incorporated into the pledge – the only Pledge that is ever used in this house at the moment. the place is a BOMBSITE while I yammer happily away on here to you lot 🙂 Ok – here goes with my own bit:
I promise that I will not drink for another 80 days. I will celebrate being 6 months sober on 4 May 2014. I will create mini-milestones between now and then and celebrate those, too, with gusto.
I promise that I will pay attention to my emotional needs and meet them in ways that do not involve alcohol. I will run; take time alone and long hot baths; talk to my husband, family and friends; hug often; and keep accountable to my sober community. I will practice gratitude – and having fun!
I promise that I will treat my physical body with the same respect and affection as I would that of one of my beloved children. I will give it sleep, rest, exercise, healthy food – and unhealthy food too if I feel like it. I will make medical appointments, time to relax, and banana bread.
I promise that I will make being sober my first priority, in whatever situation I find myself. I will continue to regard sobriety as a long-term self-care project. I will enjoy feeling better every day and focus on the positive aspects of my amazing new sober life.