what am I afraid of when I don’t drink?  missing out. being dull. feeling left on the edge, high and dry at parties. being the odd one out for the rest of my life which will feel much longer and duller because I am not drinking. having to deal with whatever it is I am trying to escape from. all groundless or at least worth facing up to.

what am I afraid of now about starting drinking again? losing what I have found. beginning every day feeling like (warning – disturbing image but I couldn’t get it out of my mind once seen because it was so accurate) this. discovering I don’t have another Day 1 inside me. all potentially real and true.

Fear is a protective mechanism. I choose fear to protect myself. I claim and own and respect my fear of alcohol. Fear serves me today.